zero

i have zero motivation at the moment.. it just so happens to be TOTM too and so i have been feeling like crap. its dumb but im depressed bout how backwards ive gone! maybe when i get over myself i could actually have a perfect eating/exercise day.. hour.. minute.. >< but until our house blasts sirens, lights and looks like a prison maybe i could get outside the house further than the mailbox while James is at work! his paranoia and from what ive judged of the few 30+ odd neighbours is that most are great, keep to themselves n problems theres jus a few dubious bad drug dealing bad eggs around here too! X( the dealers arent too bad its just the crowd that comes to the dealer.. and i havent worked out what it is yet (besides ruling out pot.. as its the most obvious) im thinking speed or heroin. im pretty sure someone O.D last week when the ambo and police turned up.. 0.o on a better note.. ive broken my thumb nail a bit at one side edge where it should still be attached to skin so im thinking of trimming it and putting a band aid over the top so i dont accidently rip the nail off painfully if it gets caught on something.. owww.. ^^ i think ive only got Hi-5 band aids at the moment.. lol.. trying to be happy.. trying.. hey at least i didnt buy tim tams as they were on special last night! ah shucks! and i also made a mud cake for james to take to his works .. relaxing beer party/meeting that happens on friday.. LOL! it looks pretty bad but it actually tastes really good.. i guess next time i shoud get some baking paper so the bottom half doesnt stick.. (very un-professional i guess to have the cake upside down and then squishing the stuff stuck on the bottom of the tin back where it should be on the cake?! lol) missed out on alot of mcleods daughters.. get an aerial and then its the week when sport takes over mcleods spot.. bummer.. its always mcleods that ends up having 2 weeks off for some sport.. annoying!) ive seen a bit of the catch up.. only a bit coz i could only last that long.. wow so trashy/crappy (its so sad that one of the presenters lisa oldfield married to yes-i-screwed-hanson-and-lied-about-it david oldfield had him on the show before the lie dectector test.. saying he didnt sleep with pauline..) *rolls eyes* i understand that alot (not saying i am or was) of young and the restless fans are upset that its gone off free tv to be replaced by 'the throw up' (someone else called it that and i jus agree) did actually go out last night without laptops (just alot of prayer and faith) thursday night late night shopping was awesome! LOL! had 1/2 the total seats/tables to choose where to sit at the food court! >< im used to having the whole family spread out over the food court watching like eagles and walking/standing closer to a group that looks like they are leaving just to get a spot! or just not bothering and going for a closeby bench at charlie square.. i miss my charlie sq it had so much space (with the crowds so totally needed it) that and all free parking (and tons of levels of parking).. ^^ seems like its ur lucky day down here in VIC if u even score a free park! (i must admit it looks really dumb when people are talking to the ticket machiene.. but if somehow ur $50 credit has gone down to $4 id be willing to talk to the machine/operator far away too)